Quickies: Posthumous Hilarity

Some people want their bodies left to science. Some want their bodies left to art. I want my body left to comedy. Prop my lifeless body up at someone's door, ring the bell, and go hide in the bushes. Set up a giant catapult near a church, and wait for a wedding; time the launch so that just as the minister asks if anyone objects, my corpse comes smashing through the window. Wait until rigor mortis sets in, then beat Dane Cook to death with me. And then shove his corpse up Carlos Mencia’s ass. That’s two birds right there.